Tears In The Dark

I felt as if I didn't have enough time to prepare myself for a final farewell. Unexpectingly I realized my last time seeing them would be in about an hour. Knowing that the time was sneaking up on me, I started to panic. The rate of my heartbeat increased all of a sudden. Then the warm tears streamed down my face. I want the tears to stop falling due to the fact that I was driving and the watery eyes was blurring my vision to drive safely, but they wouldn't stop. When I finally made it home, I knew what I had to do and I knew I had to do it quickly, but I couldn't do that until I fed them their last meal in their home. They ate their food and frequently glanced up at me, not knowing it was gonna be their last meal. Once I realize they have consumed enough food to make them content, I placed them one by one in my car. I knew the drive going there would be a long one. My heart kept telling me to turn around. Don't do this to them. However, my brain was telling me that I had no choice. No choice but to allow them to enter into the valley of the unknown. They hide in my car as if they know something is wrong. Maybe it was the empty boxes loaded in my backseat that placed this idea in their mind. Maybe it was the tears that streamed down my face uncontrollably. Or maybe it was the silence in the car that evaporated fear in the atmosphere. I arrive at the final destination. I want to procrastinate to buy more time to spend with them, but I know the longer I put it off, the harder it would be for me. So I grabbed him first and held him tightly because he was trying so hard to get away. He didn't want to go into the valley of unknown. The closer I got to the building, the more he dugged into me trying to escape. When I get inside, I see two individuals waiting to take him away from me, man and woman. The look in their eyes screamed out to me "HEARTLESS." Heartless they were indeed. He's locked away now, staring at me through the bars. He looked at me as if he hated me. The look in his eyes basically told me, " Why? How could you do this to me? After 7 years of being with you? You have been the only mother I knew since I came straight out the womb, so how can you abandon me like this? What did I do?" I couldn't stand another second to stand there and allow his eyes to have this conversation with me. I left, I had to go get his sister, who was hiding in my car. I hold on to her tightly as I prepare to walk into this building for the last time. Unlike her, she did not put up a struggle. I sat there in the chair, while the guy felt out paper work, and I just hold her close to my heart while I gently stroke her head. You can tell she was kind of frightned because she tried to hide her face underneath my arms. I continued to stroke her head and I whispered to her that everything was going to be okay. Why did I give her false assurance? When the time arrived, she gently and freely left my arms, as if everything really was going to be okay. Her eyes told me "Although I was scared at first, I now know that everything is going to be fine. I will probably just be in this place for a little while and then I will go back home with you, to a place where I can peacefully rest my eyes. I know you won't leave me here for long because you are my protector, you always have been and always will be." My eyes respond back to her, "No sweetheart, I have to leave you here. It breaks my heart to have to do this, but I have to. You have been with me for 7 years and now I have to give you up. You will be gone, but never forgotten." A new guy (who appeared to have more of a heart than the other two) distracted me by asking me for my signature on the paperwork that was filled out. As I sign my name, the tears sneak up on me again. Drop, after drop, after drop, hitting the papers as I sign them over forever. "I'm sorry." The guy whispered to me. I talked to him briefly asking him what was going to happen to them next. After not hearing such good news, I walked out crying and never looked back...........................................Two days later, I feel like a part of me left with them. I don't feel the same anymore and I feel sad when I come home to a place where they no longer exist. Sometimes when I lay down, I hear noises and automatically think it's one of them, but I become disappointed when I realize the noise is coming from outside. So I just lay there in the dark, head on my pillow, a pillow that is soaked with tears. Wishing I could bring them back home, but sadly this home that was once theres will be non-existent in a couple of days, but they will exist in my heart forever. I love and miss them so much.

Major Update

Hey everybody. Just wanted to stop in for a little while to inform you all of some changes that will be occuring in my life within the next week or so. First, I will be moving out of my current apartment and moving in with someone else. Not really looking forward to the move, but there are several reasons as to why this is the best decision for me. For starters, I will be able to save up the money that was being put towards rent and put it towards other things. Second, my lease is up and I don't want to sign another year lease being that I only have 7 more months until graduation. As soon as I graduate I will be heading to move out of my current location to a new location to pursue my career. I do not want another year lease to delay this transition in my life. Second, due to the fact that I only have a desktop computer, not a laptop computer (yeah, I know, it sucks), I will not be able to transport my computer to my new residence. I will have the opportunity to use someone else's computer, but being that it is not my computer, there will be limiations placed on the usage of the computer. With that said, I am gonna see how things go within the first week or two, so I can determine on how this change will affect my blog site. I will make sure to keep all of you updated on how things are going. Before the move, there isn't gonna be much new updates because along with school, 2 jobs, and now having to move, my schedule is 100% full. However, if something major occurs in the world/entertainment news within the next week, I will have to take a break away from my busy life to blog about it. Lol. Be safe everyone. Smooches :)

Quote For The Week

Quote for the week:

"We judge ourselves by our best intentions and most noble acts but we will be judged by our last worst act."

Source: Michael Josephson

You already know what, or better yet who, inspired this quote. Lol. And to me the quote is similar to the "actions speaks louder than words" quote. You can't say that you are a good person with great intentions, all the while you are doing terrible things that screams the complete opposite. Make sure the two are aligned.

Patrick Swayze Dies At 57.......RIP

LOS ANGELES (AFP) – Hollywood actor Patrick Swayze, best known for his roles in hit films "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," died on Monday after a long battle with pancreatic cancer, his publicist said.

Source: news.yahoo.com

Patrick fought a good long fight and my prayers goes out to his family. May he truly rest in peace.

Who Is This Suppose To Suprise???

LOS ANGELES – Being bad is good for Tyler Perry, whose latest movie, "I Can Do Bad All By Myself," opened at the top of the box office this weekend with more than $24 million. It's Perry's second film this year to open at No. 1. In February, "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail" debuted at the top spot with $41 million, which stands as the biggest opening of his eight films. "Tyler Perry has a special way of speaking to his audience, and it's unbelievable," David Spitz, Lionsgate's executive vice president and general sales manager, said Sunday. "He always knows what his audience wants, and I never underestimate him."

Source: news.yahoo.com

Well, I can tell you one thing, it doesn't suprise me. And if you payed attention to his past box office numbers, then it shouldn't suprise you either. One morning Steve Harvey was on his show talking about how Tyler had a hard time trying to get someone to actually allow him to turn his plays into movies. He went to several well known companies and all of them rejected him. They told him that they really didn't think that he would gain a large audience with these type of plays and therefore would not gain a large amount of sales. It only took one company, LionsGate, to give him a chance and prove all of those other companies wrong. Now Tyler is the one laughing at the haters all the way to the bank. Being successful truly is the best revenge there is. Go ahead Tyler!!!

Celebrity Seeds

Reagan Gomez's (Played Zaria on "Parent Hood" tv show) daughter, Scarlett, who is 2 years old. This pretty little girl looks just like her father.

Monica's son Romelo, who should be around the same age as Scarlett.

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Source: blackcelebkids

Remembering September 11th

The September 11 attacks (often referred to as September 11th or 9/11) were a series of coordinated suicide attacks by Al-Qaeda upon the United States on September 11, 2001. On that morning, 19 Al-Qaeda terrorists hijacked four commercial passenger jet airliners.[1][2] The hijackers intentionally crashed two of the airliners into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, killing everyone on board and many others working in the buildings. Both buildings collapsed within two hours, destroying nearby buildings and damaging others. The hijackers crashed a third airliner into the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, just outside of Washington, D.C. The fourth plane crashed into a field near Shanksville in rural Pennsylvania, after some of its passengers and flight crew attempted to retake control of the plane, which the hijackers had redirected toward Washington, D.C. There were no survivors from any of the flights. In total 2,993 people, including the hijackers, died in the attacks.

Source: Wikipedia

I remember it like it was yesterday..........As a Junior at my new high school, I'm walking through the crowed hallways to get to my second period class, which was ROTC. It was my 3rd year being in ROTC and the excitement that I once possessed for this program had completely died down. As I drag myself into the classroom, I see about 10 other students sitting around chit chatting with each other as their eyes are glued to the television. Me, not realizing what was going on at the time, I just quietly locate a seat and sit down. I always felt out of place in this particular class. Maybe it was cuz the people that I was use to seeing for the past couple of years where no where to be found, being that I was now at a different high school. Or maybe the personalities that my classmates possessed did not click with mines. Or maybe it was because I felt that our backgrounds were a lot different from each other. Or just maybe there was no real reason for me isolating myself from the others. Whatever the case might have been, I always felt alone in that class, until then. Classmates are panicing, as they watch the tv. "Oh, my goodness, I can't believe this. They just crashed into the one of the World Trade Center towers." "Wow, this is so surreal." In the meantime, news reporters are discussing what just took place, as the camera is focusing on the tower that was just hit, all of a sudden another plane hits the second tower. My heart pauses for a second. I place my hand on my heart, jaw dropped completely down, and my eyes wide open and glued to the tv. Now my entire class is starting to panic. Panic? Nah, after the second plane hit, panic became an understatement. Everyone started to become confused, scared, sad, nervous, etc. It was at this time we all came together as one. Yes, we all might have different backgrounds, passions, and personalities, but one thing we all had in common was that we all were U.S. citizens concerned about the recent events that took place in OUR Country. As we continue watching the news coverage, we hear about the other plane crashes. All of a sudden, my class went from being worried and sympathetic for the victims in these attacks to being worried about themselves. There was word going around the classroom, that another plane was coming in our direction, aiming to hit our local base. Classmates wanted to call their families, they were now scared for their lives. My heart is beating rapidly now and the "what if's" start traveling around in my mind. Although I now felt connected to these individuals who I once viewed as strangers, I did not want to be with them right now. I wanted to be home with my mom, grandma, and sister. I wanted to know that they were alright too. Time passes and we continue to wait. Nothing else happened. Nothing else, but having to painfully watch the aftermath of these horrible attacks........................................So now I want to know where was y'all?

Samoa to Switch From Driving to Right Side of Road to Left

This was brought to my attention by other class members in my HR class. I must say I was suprised. I can't imagine the US implementing this plan. Those poor bus drivers. Check out the video below:

And This Is Why He's Hot...Luda Gives Away 20 Cars

MORROW, Ga. – Talk about a one-man stimulus package: Grammy-winning rapper Ludacris has given away 20 cars to people who wrote about their struggles to keep their jobs for a lack of wheels of their own. Ludacris said he was taken aback after reading thousands of essays by people struggling or unable to buy cars needed to get to and from work or find jobs. The 31-year-old rapper felt he could step in and move them ahead, partnering with a suburban Atlanta dealership for Sunday's giveaway. "People are getting laid off, and now are looking for jobs," Ludacris said. "To be efficient, you need some transportation of your own to get there. That's why I wanted to give back to those who need it." Each of the used vehicles included free gas for 30 days. Winning contestants were responsible for tags, registration, tax and insurance. About 4,000 contestants submitted a 300-word essay to the rapper's foundation, explaining why they deserved a car. One of the most touching stories Ludacris read was by Mading Duor. Duor described how he moved to the United States six years ago after his mother, father, and five brothers and sisters were killed in Sudan. The man also wrote that a son was killed by a drunken driver in Atlanta a few years back. "His story touched my heart," Ludacris said. "He's endured so much in his life and he's still here standing. I'm very proud to have helped him." Duor, 33, has been able to keep a steady job at a school, but each day he felt stressed about how he was going to get to work. No longer. "I'm so happy, that I'm nervous," said Duor, who won a Nissan Maxima. "When I look at my new car, I say to myself, 'Is this really happening?'" Crystal Beauford, a single mother who used to ride the bus to two jobs and school, now has a Saturn Ion. The 26-year-old college student doesn't know how to drive the stick-shift vehicle, but said she'll learn. "This is going to help me out so much," Beauford said. "It's a blessing."
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Source: news.yahoo.com
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I am so pleased with Luda's generousity. We all are living in tough times TOGETHER, therefore I don't see any reason for people not to help individuals who are in need of assistance.

"Can't Let You Go"........Hit or miss

Chris Brown feat. Pleasure P & Bow Wow "Can't Let You Go." Wow, now we got Bow Wow and Pleasure P on Auto Tune. What y'all think? Hit or Miss?

Quote For The Week

Quote For The Week:

The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.

Source: William Arthur Ward

Excellent quote.

Update On What's Going On With Me

Hey all. How has everyone been? Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful Labor Day. There is nothing better than being off from work, relaxing with friends and family, and stuffing your tummy with some good ol' barbeque chicken and/or ribs, baked beans, potato salad, collard greens, mac and cheese, corn bread, and sweet potato pie. Mmmm, mmmm GOOD. Too bad none of the above is on my Labor Day lunch/dinner menu. My list of menu items for today are labeled as quick and easy so I can have plenty of time to focus on the school work that I'm behind on. There was a delay in me getting a few of my textbooks, so now I have to cram so I can get caught up. I know I haven't been on here in a while, but there are several things going on in my life all at once. For starters, School. I have taken a look at each class syllabus and boy do I have a lot in store for me. I have about 3 group projects to do, one 30-50 page paper about my future plans, and x amount of quizzes, exams, and homework assignments. I am also STILL working very hard to find another job, I had a couple of interviews last week. I do want to mention something regarding this issue, being that my school schedule is mixed with day and night classes, it's kinda hard to find a decent paying job that is willing to work with my crazy schedule that I currently have. So that is the main problem right there. Lastly, my brain is working full time trying to decide if I'm gonna move by the end of this month. If I do decide to move, then that's gonna be another time consuming hassel that I have to deal with. So with everything going on, it's kida hard trying to balance my time evenly between all three of those and my blog. Like I said before, I will not allow my blog to just fade away, but I will have to reduce the amount of time that I spend updating my page. If there is some kinda major change that I forsee in the future, I will definitely let you guys/gals know about it. Thanks to all of my subscribers for your continued support. Smooches :)